Not Gonna

Sometimes running is the best. I went today and it felt amazing. That was after I did a few laps around the pool AND that was after I did a termite job today. I think I'll sleep well tonight!

I have 4 chapters to final edit and then I am DONE with my book! Hell yeah! It's been about a year and a half. Good times.

'Cause I'm HAPPY, Happy, happy, nope.

Guys! I'm going crazy. I feel so... unsettled.

Work is rough, of course. Everyday feels like another day that I'm wasting my life.

Home is rough, of course. I'm living with a bunch of people. I feel very uncentered and awful. I'm eating a ton to make myself feel better and smother the fucking emotions that I am unable to deal with.

Writing is non-existent in the sense of creating new content. I'm still editing my first book though, thankfully, I'm almost done. It's really stressing me out because I feel like every free minute I have, I should be working. I feel like shit every time I'm not writing or editing because of the guilt and drive to improve my life. But that pushes me into a depression and then I EAT MORE!!! BLAAAAAAAAAAA.

There are some other problems that I don't want to air on this public blog. Perchaps I shall write them in my journal. hahahhahaha. As if I had a journal.

Music I'm listening to:
-Pharrell
-Florida Georgia Line

FUCK!

Southern Weather

We are finally in Texas. Don't know if I've mentioned this before, don't feel like going back and checking. I'm back to writing in editing at libraries during down time at work. Boo. But also, yay!

So, the real reason I am posting this... post is two fold:

1- I am GARBAGE at grammar. For someone who wants to be a writer, you'd think I could write!!!

2- Related to #1. Sometimes when I'm editing I just say "F**k it" and move on. This stuff is so bad that unless I did severe revisions, basically threw away the first half of the book and rewrote it, it's not going to to get much better no matter how much time I spend editing.

And finally: I came across some fringe "news" website about how Obama is the Antichrist. Great stuff. Google it. It will make your day with how AMAZING it is. I, for one, feel enlightened.

Oh My Holy Crap

I only have 5 chapters left on my first draft edit. YAY! I'm thinking that, barring any extreme story edits, the second and third drafts will go by much quicker as I will have pretty much polished everything that needs it. I've only really re-written a few chunks of writing and those were maybe a page apiece.

I've started dreaming about what life is going to be like when I'm a rich, successful writer. I can't help it. Some days thinking about that is the only thing that gets me through the day. If I didn't have that dream, I don't know how I'd get through most days. Just knowing this part of my life is temporary and it will lead to fantastic wealth and comfort is... amazing.

I know, I know. That's making huge assumptions but I feel like, HEY, why the hell not dream big. Even if I miss the moon, I'll land in the stars. The cold emptiness of space playing contrast to the burning heat of the giant flaming heavenly bodies... yup.

Song for your day: Stadium Love by Metric. It's catchy and fun and hurrah for good female fronted bands.

My New Best Friend

Man editing sucks. Or maybe I suck. Either way it's not getting done. I think this might be in part because we are moving in a couple weeks and my mind is stressed out and rebelling and being lazy helps me feel less shite.

Maybe.

I just finished the Scott Pilgrim series of comic books. It was AWESOME. I would highly suggest it if you like comic books.

That's all for now.

Sing A Song A Six Shooter

I'm sooo tired today. I just ate a BLOODY TON of carbs in the form of bread, more bread, potatoes (carbs? not sure on that one), and cake. Lots of bloody cake. I was barely able to walk to my brothers house down the street.

I lurrrrve podcasts. That's the only thing that gets me through many days at work. Driving around and talking to complete ARSE HOLES!!! Selling crap. Spraying crap. Boo. Anyways, a couple of my favorites are The Drabblecast and StarShip Sofa. But, unfortunately, they aren't doing well financially. They really need donations so if you could check them out and see if you like them and if you like them then please donate! They are worth supporting.

I am about one third of the way through my first book revision. It's pretty boring. Maybe that says something about my book but I'd prefer to think not. Just that I get bored real easy like.

Zzzzzzz...

Oh, sorry guys. Fell asleep for a sec. To many carbs.

Boo, You Whorecrux

Just watched Mean Girls and I gotta say, that movie is great. Now we are watching Bachelorette which I am told is good but... I'm doubtful.
Also I'm excited to see Dirty Dancing again. Man I'm a sucker for chick flicks. What the F?!

Again, also: What the F happened to Kirsten Dunst. Also even more I HATE it when actors with cool accents try to do American accents. STOP IT!!! The reason I like you is your accent. IDIOT!