We Were Born To Rage

I recently read a couple articles that I would suggest for anyone who feels like they've reached a slump in their life. I had been feeling that way lately when I stumbled across these articles and now the last two days I've been feeling extremely motivated.

First there is this Cracked.com article. I know, I know. Cracked, right? How can I find an article on a humor website to be a motivational tool? Well read it and find out.

The second article was referenced in the Cracked article above. It's an interesting idea that's lead to interesting discussions at work for me today and mirrors a general feeling I've been getting from life lately.

So for the last three months(minus two weeks at the beginning of November) my writing goal was 25,500 words by the end of December. Well we are four days away from the end of the year(depending on how you count the days) and I'm about 10,000 words short. I'm coming in at 15,890 as of tonight.

As this is incredibly sad and lame of me, I am making my New Years Resolution to have finished two novels by the end of 2013. Yes, that's right folks. I have declared that I will have two finished novels by the END OF 2013!!! You can hold me to it. I published it on the internet so it has to be true, right? Right? Guys... where are you going? Wait, answer my question before you go!

Christmas Bells

It's almost Christmas! Unfortunately I am not very excited about Christmas this year. It seems that every year it becomes a less big deal for me and this year I haven't felt the holiday spirit at all. Maybe it's because I have to work Christmas eve AND day. Which completely sucks. But I'll get holiday pay which will be nice. But still. Life gets a little less magical every year.
Wrote again today, as evidenced by a blog post because when do I ever post otherwise, and then I was looking at my writing tracker and I've only written SIX TIMES THIS MONTH. And it's the 23rd today. WTF Mike, WTF.
Happy Holidays y'all.

A Real Human Being, And A Real Hero

Got some more writing done today. about 1700 words so far today. Called in sick to work, not feeling great.
What do you do when you've lost you're hope? The glimmer of something better that keeps you from going crazy when it all gets almost to much. I've lost mine and I'm looking for another. It makes me feel physically ill to even think about life sometimes. Ugh.

Reservoir Cats

A couple things my friends.

First: My lovely wife is coming home today. Hurrah.

Second: Terry Pratchett is a genius. His books are incredible. Check out his work.

Third (Yeah I know. I said a couple): I'm watching Reservoir Dogs. Before that I watched Deathproof and Planet Terror. All excellent flicks. Say what you will about the man, Quentin Tarantino knows how to make a quality movie. Oooh and speaking of quality movies, I just saw Seven Psychopaths. That movie is HILARIOUS and surprisingly touching while still being horrifically violent. Interesting how they're able to combine the two.

Fourth: Started writing again.

Am I Born To Bleed

I could not remember what the bridges that connect you to the plane from the airport were called. Apparently they are "jet bridges" which is awesome because is sounds like Jeff Bridges. Yes. Most excellent.

Well once again I have resumed my attempts at writing. I've been kinda depressed lately, work is not going well and some other stuff in my life are getting me down. So I've been trying to do positive thinking. Which is POSITIVELY hard. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night!

My My My They Grow Up So Fast

Interesting phenomenon I've recently uncovered: I only use the right shift key. I tried switching to using both but it messed me up to much. Weird
I think if any of my books get published, people will be given a journal into how I've been feeling emotionally for the past x years. I have almost no filter to sort how I feel from how I make my characters feel.
Great for writing... right.

What Does It Really Mean To Get Nothing From Everyone

YES! I wrote 956 words today! I wasn't really sure where this scene was going and just started plugging away and the characters pretty much wrote it themselves. It's nice when you have developed characters enough that you can almost depend on them to act on their own in a situation and you can just write down what they did instead of trying to think up every word of dialogue on your own.

 Also, yes I know this sounds crazy. I am just writing down what made up people in my head are saying. That way lies insanity. But I think every good writer is a least a little crazy or unhinged. You have to be to do what we do. Pitting your future against the willingness or, as the case may be, non-willingness of random people to buy their crazy stories. Pushaash.

Oh I signed up for Pinterest! Most addicting social network yet! Facebook and Twitter have their places but friggin Pinterest... it's so... INFINITE. You can get lost in the eternity of peoples creativity and willingness to share their lives. Man. After I signed up I just started browsing for a few minutes and was then going to write until I looked at the clock and realized it had been a bloody HOUR AND A HALF!!! Man how the life flies by.

I could look at stuff like this all bloody day. And probably would if I didn't have to eat. And go to work. And sleep.

Question

Does anyone know of writing groups in the Utah area that meet IN PERSON and are accepting new members. I would really like to be able to talk to other local writers. Let me know.

Back On Track

I've started writing again finally! I was taking a break because I was in training for a new job and it was taking the majority of my mental capacity. Between studying and being at work for eight hours, my brain was fried when I got home. Just wanted to veg out on the couch when I got home. But I've been exercising a lot and writing again. I even designed a writing schedule in Excel that's working pretty well.

I haven't been able to keep up with my previous word length standards but today I exceeded them goal wise.

My life has the potential to change immensely soon. A slim chance of it but I'm holding onto whatever threads I can grasp. Pretty excited for it but trying to prepare myself for the disappointment if it doesn't work out. It's a fine line between optimism and irrationality or naivety. And I'm walkin it!!!

Sbemail

I deleted my writing blog today. Saved all the stuff on there (thankfully it was on there as it wasn't anywhere else) and got rid of it. Extremely low readership and I might want to do something commercially with that stuff someday and don't want it up for free. So. It's gone.

I'm Still Alive

Been working for awhile. Not my favorite job. How I'm getting by? Everyday I just tell myself "I'm still alive."

I think about people in Africa or South America or China or India or I just just name your not first world country of choice. A lot of people in these countries work insane hours in terrible jobs for what amounts to, in America, practically nothing. And they do it seven days a week.

When you look at it that way, my 40 hours a week in a cushy chair doesn't seem so bad.

But when that doesn't help I just remind myself of a character in a book I'm reading, Logan Ninefingers. No matter what happens; stabbed, thrown of a cliff, friends and family murdered, to even the small things like stubbing his toe, lost in a foreign city where he doesn't know anyone... no matter what happens he always says, "I'm still alive."

So... A bit dramatic I suppose but sometimes that's just what you need to get you by.

And now, something light hearted:
















The internet is such a weird place.

Help Me Understand

Greetings!

Today has been a most productive day. I pounded out a good 1500 words!!! wahoo. Which was the most unenthusiastic wahoo of all time. And some, shall we say, interesting things happened completely unexpectedly between a certain couple of characters. Man alive I can't wait for everybody to read this, it's going to blow some minds. Well probably not but some of you might like it.

I also went for a bike ride today. Tried to make it up the canyon but stopped at the mouth of the canyon and turned around. I was just to tired. Been feeling a little strange today, not sure what that's about.

On the movie front, I recently saw a few new movies I would suggest. The two that stood out were Trollhunter, a foreign movie I randomly a trailer for on Youtube, and Alien, the classic Ridley Scott film. Both great stuff. Well I gotta go, dinner time.

It's Better This Time Than Ever Before

Sometimes the advancement of technology scares me. I am not the type of person who changes easily nor accepts change easily. I've tried to become that type of person and I think I've made a lot of progress but sometimes I read technology news blogs or websites and just get kind of freaked out.

One thing that has been strangely hard for me to let go is the idea of a home phone line. Just your classic land line that the whole family shares. Maybe three different hand sets through the whole house that connect to the same line. Classic, right?

My recent solution is that we keep the two phones my wife and I have and then purchasing a pay buy the minute type phone to use as our land line. That way we never have to worry about keeping up with the bills on something that we rarely use but we'll always have a backup from a different service provider. And a separate number if one of our phones craps out or we forget to pay the bills.

But this is just one solution to one problem. There are many more that loom but I dare not think of them.  When did I become and old man?

Looks like there is still backed up traffic in the future... *sigh*

I'll Cross The Street

Today is turning out to be quite an excellent day. I don't want to get into the details just yet but things are shaping up quite nicely.

I've started playing Fable 2 again which is 1-Awesome and 2-Severely cutting into my everything else time.
Sometimes Video Games, sometimes...

Finally... Sorry guys. Couldn't resist this picture.

Victory Victory!

I just finished a scene I have been working on for about a month now! JEAH!!! Three or four days of just buckling down and writing not for word count but to finish the scene paid off. *Sigh*
Thank heaven. Time to relax... JK. I get to write more!

Going Far, Getting Nowhere

Ahh... it's been a good day. I woke up late, having gone to bed late, and ate an excellent egg, spinach, ham sandwich with my lovely wife while we watched the latest season of The Big Bang Theory, my current favorite TV show. Seriously guys, it's awesome.
Then I went on a hike up Rock Canyon which allowed me to think about stuff, get things clear again. It's amazing how quickly my view can become cluttered by garbage but going on a walk or hike or ride always clears it up toot sweet. Jealousy is one of my biggest problems right now. It really throws off my thinking and centers me on the wrong things. Gah!
Anyways! Then I came home and we ate rice and ham and each had a big salad which was DELICIOSO!!! Mucho so. Then more TBBT (yeah, that's right. I abbreviated my addiction) and then to writing at which I wrote over 1500 words. YES! Also I've been listening to 80's music lately, specifically The Cure, Depeche Mode, Tears for Fears. Also threw some Death Cab for Cutie, Fleetwood Mac, and The Flaming Lips in there just to get a little variety. I think I'm set for a while with this playlist. At least when I'm not exercising.
When I'm exercising, I like to jam to Pop Goes Punk 3 & 4. Great stuff, all upbeat and screamy the way I like my pop.
Oh yeah! Another thing: I've been trying to get a job as a writer for a magazine or website. I don't have any professional experience but decided to apply anyways. I've only heard back from one website and it was a rejection but at least I heard back! A rejection is always better than nothing. Anyways, pray, meditate, or throw good thoughts my way, depending on what you believe. Thanks!

Sippin' On A Patron Just To Calm My Nerves

If I keep burning bridges at this rate I'm going to be stuck very very soon. On the plus side I'm learning a lot about myself and what I can and can't do. Or maybe it's more accurate to say what I will and won't do. Yeah, that's better. Gonna miss mv and wish I hadn't thrown that away. Oh friggin well.

Writings going well. Wrote 500 last night, 1000 the day before and I got my book back on track. This chapter I'm working on had just gone all Ozzy on me (off the rails... on a crazy train...?) but I was able to pull it back in and I think it's going to turn out quite nice actually.

Also it's nice to learn that I'm not a socially retarded psycho, that some guys are just completes arse holes. Yeah I said it. Arse. A near curse. Whatcha gonna do? Call the ghostbusters on me?!!

And now this blog post has gone all Ozzy so I'm going to sign off. In parting, just remember:

"...keep your boots tight, keep your gun close and die with your mask on if you got to..."

What Heist Were You Watching?

The internet on my phone has not been working for almost a month and I'm going CRAZY! About a year ago I started switching my music listening from CD's and MP3's to streaming. It's a lot cheaper and easier but NOT WHEN YOUR INTERNET DOESN'T WORK!!! Bloody Sprint.

I just wrote almost a thousand words in my book! But that's not that great because I haven't written in weeks. But thank heavens I'm starting again. It's always that first session that's the hardest.

ALSO I'm starting a NEW job on monday. I know I know. Another? Really? Well better believe it baby.

I'm So Heavy In Your Arms

I have a couple job leads I'm actually a bit excited about. Mostly because they're full time. I have two part time jobs but it just seems kinda stressful to be going to two different places when I could just get all my hours in one place. Plus these jobs both pay better than one or both of my current jobs. The only thing that makes me stumble a bit when going for new jobs is that the jobs I currently have are both fall back jobs. They're the jobs you get when all else has failed. So if I quit and go somewhere else and it doesn't work out, where do I go? But I suppose that's part of the danger of life. You can't always have a safety net, no matter how much you try. Blah.

On the writing front, I just wrote AROUND five hundred words. Give or take a solid hundred. Probably take. DON'T JUDGE ME! I had a lot on my plate today! I even worked out even though I have been feeling tired lately and didn't want to! So you can take that judgment where the sun don't shine. Of course I'm referring to under a shade tree.

Sometimes I say crazy stuff that makes total sense in my head but then people tell me I'm crazy. I'm totally not! Trust me, I got this.

I've been thinking about trying to write for a website. I would really enjoy that but I have always stumbled because I feel my writing style is not professional enough. I don't pay a lot of attention to the rules of the English language (see entire history of this blog) and I'm pretty sloppy about stuff because I just want to create and not be constricted sometimes! But then I realized HEY! That's what an editor is for. So I think I'm going to try for that. Thanks to my lovely wife and my father for the encouragement on that front.

This is a site I'm recently dying to see. Not sure where the desire came from but it's growing:

No Ideas Whatsoever...

Today I read a thread of discussion on Facebook that talked about self-publishing vs. traditional publishing. I have been planning on self-publishing up to this point. But after reading over that thread I have become absolutely terrified of it. Well... Not terrified but rather nervous. I am definitely rethinking my path.

Also I am having a hard time mapping my book. Or not having good enough notes. Or not knowing if I should name characters that aren't important. Basically HOW DETAILED SHOULD I BE?! Wish some authors read this blog. Guess I'll have to research instead of just having the answers handed to me. Dang.

A job I had been depending on getting fell through. I will make enough from my two part time jobs to pay bills but thats about it. Nothing really beyond that. Life's a real bugger sometimes.

Speaking of life being not that great, it may surprise you that I have begun trying not to complain so much when I'm talking to people. It's REALLY HARD. My life is in a really not great place right now. We're living with my parents which is great of them but... not ideal. We are falling farther and farther behind on bills until some income comes IN.  And... Wait wait I didn't mean to start complaining. SEE HOW EASY IT IS?!!! Grrr. Anyways. Yeah. Trying not to complain. It could be worse. I could live in a... house full of rats. And cockroaches. So yeah, not so bad. First world problems, eh?

I'm going running tonight. Haven't been for a couple days. I wasn't feeling great on Friday so I skipped that day and then Saturday instead of running I went for a ten mile bike ride. That was great exercise but I miss running so tonight will be good. Whelp. That's all folks.

Stupid picture:

A Mans Gotta Do...

Sorry if you're sick of hearing about my employment status but... I got a second job! So that means two part time and... I'll hopefully hear back from a third by the end of the week. If I get that third one I will quit the other two because it'll pay more than both combined! Hurray.

On the book front, the end of the first draft is in sight! I'm about halfway finished I'm thinking. Taking longer than I thought it would but oh well. What's a guy to do.

Listening to the Dr. Horrible sound track. Great stuff.

Killing Tonight

I have been playing World of Warcraft like a fiend lately. Like a crazy unhealthy amount. I'm guessing it's me subconsciously trying not to think about the possibility of getting fired tomorrow. MAN this job is stressful. Also some money woes (phones shut off, bills piling up) that have been messing with me seriously.

Last night I had a dream about somebody I used to know. It really messed with my head. I have been feeling off all day because of it. Finally I convinced Miri to go up the canyon with me and I was able to unload about it which helped. Plus getting out of the house. Memories... bah.

I am slimming down again, thank heavens. I've been able to run about a mile three times a week and workout twice a week. Not close to what I was doing before the accident but its a start. Getting there.

Finally I just wrote an AWESOME scene in my book. A kidnap/carchase/gunfight/magical showdown. Nice.

If You're Wondering If

I'm feeling strangely sad.

The book I'm writing's main characters relationship with her boyfriend is ending and it's making me slightly depressed. No depressed isn't the right word. Sad I guess. Strange.

A good thing

Ah... today is already a good day. Woke up at eight (after only six hours of sleep. I know! What?!!) and have already written 1200 words. I worked out pretty hard yesterday so I've got a good sore going on today and some good plans for the rest of the day. Planning on heading to the mall to do some window shopping (completely broke) and then up the canyon to walk around and maybe read. And then tonight... WE BARBECUE!!! Hopefully.
Not to bad.
Ooh also my knee is healing (got in a dirtbiking accident about a month ago and got pretty messed up) finally to the point where I can walk without a limp. AND...
I have a new short story coming on my writing blog mikewritingstuff.blogspot.com and it's pretty cool. If you're into that kind of thing. Which I am. Obviously.

And finally if you don't listen to Foster the People (besides that Pumped Up Kicks song) you definitely should. They are QUITE excellent.

That is all.

Forks in Destiny

     Today I'm standing at the branch of two forks in my future. Pretty major ones. I'm taking what I believe to be the right one but I'm also terrified that it will lead to some pretty rough seas. All I know is I can't take the other path again, I've traveled it before and it doesn't lead to where I want to be though it does offer the promise that I'll get there if I just stay on it a little longer. But I never reach that destination.
      Today I'm picking the unknown path. It's scarier but also more exciting. I know the drudgery and hell that waits in the other direction. I'm choosing freedom.

Also this song was playing while I wrote this post and it feels somehow fitting. An ocean of unknown possibilities...




 

The Road Not Taken

 Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
 And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
 Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
 In leaves no step had trodden black.
 Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
 I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

Good Le News

I have a second job interview tomorrow! At a different company sure but it's an interview!!! Wahoo. Not exactly a job I'm excited for but it pays better than a lot of jobs around here so yay.

I have gotten back into writing AGAIN. I wrote 800 words last night which is 300 more than my typical goal. Sometimes the words just flow out. It works especially well when you have an idea where the scene is going and you just have to let your mind free and flow through your fingers onto the screen. And yes that would have been more poetic if I had said flow through my fingers onto the page, the ink like my blood, spilling me inner most thoughts and dreams onto paper. But... I write with a friggin computer.
Who writes on paper anymore?!! It's really slow, resource expensive, and it gives you cramps. I wrote about ten pages on paper for a story a few years ago thinking I was all cool and hip 'cause I was writing like people have for thousands of years! Well guess what hipster Mike. That's stupid.
(editors note: If you use paper and pen instead of a computer you're Awesome with a capitol A. These are just the rantings of a mad fool.)

So I finally got the job of editor of this blog. Also I developed a split personality.

I'm feeling very optimistic today which translates, as just about every mood of mine does, into wanting to see a movie today. Unfortunately that is at the mercy of me lovely wife. Hmm... We shall see.

Once more into the gap!!!

Trying Not To Think

Bah.

Job hunting is one of the most demoralizing, humiliating, soul sucking ventures I have ever had the misfortune to embark on. Actually I need to correct that. DESPERATE job hunting.
So after 4 days and more money than we could afford to spend, we made it to Utah. Unfortunately all the bull crap that happened used up all of our savings so the buffer we were giving ourselves to use until we found employment has vanished. Shit.
So if anyone out in the blog-o-sphere  has a free job in northern Utah they wanna give to a great guy than let me know in the comment section. Please. For serious.

On a lighter note, religion.
I've been thinking a lot about religion lately and I've come to the conclusion that I will never come to a solid conclusion. Yep. Cop friggin out.

Finishing the last in the Eragon series. It's at a pretty awesome part so I'm gonna get of this depressing machine and go do that.

Update: Ahoy Hoy

I previously listed some movies I was excited to see. I have seen half of them. Here are my reviews.

The Dictator

Pretty trashy, not that funny. Everything with Jason Mantzoukas was good but other than that you could watch the trailers and hit all the comedy hotspots and avoid your $10.25 ticket.

The Avengers

All the hype surrounding this movie is 100% justified. It delivers exactly what it promises and I would go so far as to say it would get an E on it's O.W.Ls at Hogwarts. Not sure if I nailed that reference but hopefully you get the idea.

The Novel:

It's coming along slowly. Been busy with work and then a dirt bike accident which left me stranded on a couch watching movies all day and I would say that is almost worse because my motivation goes to almost nothing when the threat of any movie anytime is present. 

So long, farewell Texas. Not a fan.

Ahoy hoy

Ah finally back on the good shores of Blog. Which could totally be a fantastical island in a fantasy novel. Yeah I'm looking at you teen authors! Write that!
Nothing serious today, just updates.
Movies I'm NOW excited for:

-The Dictator
-The Avengers
-The Dark Knight
-Prometheus

Recent movies I would definitely suggest:

-The Five Year Engagement
-Cabin In the Woods
-Haywire
-The Hunger Games
-21 Jump Street

Bayoshe.

Smiling At Streetlights

Hey. Insert obligatory "omg havent posted forever" comment here. I've honestly just had nothing to post about. But now I do. Here's some stuff:

I keep hearing THIS song. It's alright but I keep thinking it's a song by the White Stripes. Don't know the name of that one...

I ate some ice cream that tasted real funky today. Probably going to be up tonight vomiting. Lovely. I also ate a pint last night (the same amount I ate tonight) along with tons of cheetos. Frick.

I haven't written ANYTHING in a veeerry long time for various reasons. I'm trying to start again. It's pretty hard.

I've abandoned my ill-fated first novel. Not deleting it or anything but it was going nowhere and I hated the magic system which was laced into most of what I had written. Blah.

I've gotten a few ideas for new stories. One involves unintentionally murderous children, the other involves 9-11. Yeah... I pick 'em right. Stuff EVERYONE wants to read about right? Pssh what's wrong with me haha.

Excited for some new movies.

Philosophical question. Should someone leave their stable job to explore their dreams? If it's a choice between the two, what is one to do?

That's about all I got's right now.

POEt

it bothers me how much of my reality is really just an illusion....

When All Is Said And Done

I need to post more often if only to get that stupid Shrek wedding picture off my bloody screen.

What's new? Hmm. Well I recently started working out again. That's been nice as it had been about two months since I was consistently exercising. It's coming along sloowly.

Tried watching X-Files tonight and got to freaked out being in a house that is completely unlocked. Alone except for a dog that keeps barking at nothing. With random phone calls from out of area. Not cool. Needless to say I didn't even finish the episode. Instead I watched IRON CHEF: The greatest cooking show ever!

Haven't been writing consistently either which is a bummer because near the end I was writing around a thousand words a day no sweat. Now I'm back to struggling to get my five hundred. Blah.

In parting I'd like to talk about the 2012 end of the world hooha. The Mayans said there would be an end of an era not the end of the world. But this could mean an end of the HUMAN era. Maybe it's time for another race to live on the planet. I would like to direct you to the Bloop. Please read the whole article but concentrate especially on this line:

"While the audio profile of the Bloop does resemble that of  a living creature, the source is a mystery both because it is different from known sounds and because it was several times louder than the loudest recorded animal, the blue whale"

Interesting. A sound coming from the depths of the south Pacific. What large creatures could possibly dwell there that could make a sound several times louder that the blue whale? I'm guessing the creature would ahve to be an order of magnitude larger than a blue whale to produce such a sound. But these things don't exist right? Well a good man named H.P. Lovecraft waxed poetic on the subject. He described a creature known as Cthulhu who was described thus:

"An octopus, a dragon, and a human caricature... A pulpy, tentacled head surmounted a grotesque scaly body with rudimentary wings", and "a mountain walked or stumbled".

Once again I posit the opinion: Interesting. This describes Cthulhu as a terrifying creature who was compared to a mountain. We could probably safely assume that was in relation to it's size. We can also safely assume that a mountain is larger than a blue whale. Now in reference to the depths of the south Pacific I give you this:

"(Cthulhu is) a malevolent entity trapped in an underwater city in the South Pacific called R'lyeh"

It is said, if memory serves, that Cthulhu will rise from his underwater city to once again rule the earth, his rightful kingdom. I believe there is also text on the lines of him summoning the Old or Ancients Ones, to which he is a high priest, back to earth to destroy humanity.

Now an ultra low frequency underwater sound emanating from the South Pacific... Cthulhu waking up? The 12 year old in me is fighting with adult actual me to offer up the conjecture: Cthulhu farting in his sleep? 


Regardless of how old you are,I think this is some valid interesting food for thought to say the least.

I know I know. Sounds like Armageddony good times to be had by all. I suppose only time will tell.

So if that's not something to look forward to in 2012, I don't know what is. 

A face only an ancient malevolent God could love.