You Act So Different Around Me

Hmmm...

I, as always, am trying to figure out what to do with me life. A big thing I want to be my life's work is writing. Producing art. I want that to be my legacy. But it is so hard to make money in that so I am having to figure out other things to do.

The real thing I was wanting to think about was self publishing. This is the route I've decided to go.

Damn. I had a message I wanted to get across in the post but... I have no idea what it really was. I'm listening to a podcast, Geeks Guide to the Galaxy, and it's an interesting interview and I'm trying write at the same time and... it ain't working.

Alright so I'll do a list of some music I'm into lately.



-"Hail To The King" by Avenged Sevenfold.
This song just rocks off all the socks.

-"The End Of All Things" by Panic At The Disco.
Such a sad, wistful song. It makes me just stare into the middle distance and forget. Panic has a new album and it's really good. It also sounds a lot like...

-"The Phoenix" by Fall Out Boy.
I'm a huge FOB fan, have been since high school, and publicly a fan since 2007. This song has a good chorus.

-"Hold On We're Going Home" by Drake.
I know. What? Not my usual fare but it's catchy and stuck in my head.

In closing, don't give up on your dreams. You may not be the best or as good as you hoped but if you don't go for your dreams then you will always have that regret. That regret is not great.
Also learn to let go. It's hard but most DEFINITELY worth it.

Conflicting messages? I hope not.

Lessons Learned

I heard a Fall Out Boy song I've never heard before. I made me really happy.

Dreams are my curse and my (hopeful)redemption. 

I'm reading a book right now called EX-Heroes by Peter Cline. It's pretty good. Honestly, it started off a little slow and I was regretting buying it but then I forced myself to keep going, I have a hard time reading stuff that's not Harry Potter sometimes, and it's actually awesome. I'm almost finished and planning on buying the rest of the series.

On a related note I've decided to start buying books I like. I'm a writer and I'm hoping that people will buy my books. So I should support other authors. I'm going to start using a larger chunk of my income for books. Hell yeah!

Life is slowly teaching me the lesson that you can't make other people like you more than they are willing to. You can't make other people be better friends with you. You just have to accept the love others are willing to give and live with that. 

Life, Interupted

For the past couple of months I have been dealing with a painful medical condition. I won't get in to details but it was quite scary for about a week and I'm pretty much constant pain. I'm on antibiotics right now and I'm trying some natural stuff as well but it doesn't seem to be happening. This has in turn affected my ability to go to work in the sense that I can't motivate myself to do it when I'm physically and emotionally tired from dealing with the constant pain and discomfort and the worry of it not going away, just getting worse.

And then add on top of that the fact that I'm not a huge fan of my current job anyways, well you can understand how I'm having a rough time of it.

On the plus side I am almost done with the first draft of my book! I have probably a couple months left if I stick to my goals. Pretty excited to finally finish. I know it's only the beginning of a long process but it will be the first major goal I've achieved in a long time. Yeah, I'm pretty depressing. LOL. But not really.

Oh, and on the major plus side! Fall Out Boy, one of my favorite bands, is releasing a new album in May! What?!

hooray!

I'm beginning to change the way I view God and religion. I grew up in an extremely conservative household and culture and I've begun to break out of that viewpoint to truths I couldn't see or accept before this point. 

It's a little scary because my upbringing taught me that thinking outside of their prescribed box brought damnation and eternal torment so I'm understandably a little nervous about thinking other things than what I've been fed my whole life but it's also liberating to be able to believe spiritually that don't conflict with my moral, political, and social beliefs. Whew!

beautiful

I'm beginning to understand that I should question things, not just accept things blindly. That's how evil is allowed to flourish. 

Baby You're A Classic Like A Little Black Dress a.k.a. Does It Get Old Hearing Me Say This?

I have started writing again?!!
"What what" you say, "This is news? Didn't you start writing again like ten trillion times already?"
Well first of all yes, and second of all shut up.
I am trying to do it completely right this time. Technically I haven't started the actual writing, I've just been working on crafting a KILLER outline. I don't usually do this and I think it will help because I'll actuall know where the story is going and not get overwhelmed.

In other news, Fall Out Boy needs to release some new stuff.

Ahh... Like a cold drink of water.