Lessons Learned

I heard a Fall Out Boy song I've never heard before. I made me really happy.

Dreams are my curse and my (hopeful)redemption. 

I'm reading a book right now called EX-Heroes by Peter Cline. It's pretty good. Honestly, it started off a little slow and I was regretting buying it but then I forced myself to keep going, I have a hard time reading stuff that's not Harry Potter sometimes, and it's actually awesome. I'm almost finished and planning on buying the rest of the series.

On a related note I've decided to start buying books I like. I'm a writer and I'm hoping that people will buy my books. So I should support other authors. I'm going to start using a larger chunk of my income for books. Hell yeah!

Life is slowly teaching me the lesson that you can't make other people like you more than they are willing to. You can't make other people be better friends with you. You just have to accept the love others are willing to give and live with that. 

Grows Flowers In His Apartment

Editing of the Le Book should begin today. I am beyond excited. Once I publish it, I will post a link to it. You must all subsequently PURCHASE THE EFF OUT OF IT. Please.

I've been watching Louie. It's depressing/amazing.

I've also been watching Buffy. Which is my new favorite tv show.

this one book by this one blogger dude is AMAZING

Some of my favorite music includes:

• Panic at the Disco- Pretty Odd
• Coheed and Cambria- Year of the Black Rainbow
• AWOLNATION- Megalithic Symphony
• Mumford and Sons- Sigh No More

Cellos

I started another fuckin' job today. It's a lot better emotionally than the last one. It's a lot worse financially than the last one. It's not what I want to do. But it'll pay the bills.

My dream job was posted on craigslist. I'm going to apply for it tomorrow. It's probably not my real dream job but I think about it a lot.

I decided to just self publish my book. Because... FUCK THE PUBLISHING INDUSTRY AND IT'S BULLSHIT!!!

What, you want me to send my books to a billion different people? And then 99.9% of them won't even read it. Of those that do, 99.99% of them won't get back to me. Of those 99.9% that do, 100% of them will be rejections.

But then randomly one of them actually finds it in a trash can covered it snot filled tissues and empty wine bottles, little red stains making much of the first few pages illegible. This person likes my book. He emails me back and wants to work with me.

This person is a literary agent. Not a publisher. An agent. NOT A PUBLISHER!!! He just wants to try and sell my book to some publishers.

Oh, by the by. This is NOT a guarantee of publishing. This is a "guarantee" of this person trying  to see if maybe some other ass hole thinks it's good enough to get sell some copies.

And then the process is repeated. Infinitum.

So. Fuck them. I'm going out on my own. And it probably won't work. But I just don't have the life energy to try this.

This has given my soul such freedom.

I'm ready to write the second book. Yeeha!

yeah kinda feels like this

I'm ALSO going to start writing music again. Hopefully.

Life, Interupted

For the past couple of months I have been dealing with a painful medical condition. I won't get in to details but it was quite scary for about a week and I'm pretty much constant pain. I'm on antibiotics right now and I'm trying some natural stuff as well but it doesn't seem to be happening. This has in turn affected my ability to go to work in the sense that I can't motivate myself to do it when I'm physically and emotionally tired from dealing with the constant pain and discomfort and the worry of it not going away, just getting worse.

And then add on top of that the fact that I'm not a huge fan of my current job anyways, well you can understand how I'm having a rough time of it.

On the plus side I am almost done with the first draft of my book! I have probably a couple months left if I stick to my goals. Pretty excited to finally finish. I know it's only the beginning of a long process but it will be the first major goal I've achieved in a long time. Yeah, I'm pretty depressing. LOL. But not really.

Oh, and on the major plus side! Fall Out Boy, one of my favorite bands, is releasing a new album in May! What?!

hooray!

I'm beginning to change the way I view God and religion. I grew up in an extremely conservative household and culture and I've begun to break out of that viewpoint to truths I couldn't see or accept before this point. 

It's a little scary because my upbringing taught me that thinking outside of their prescribed box brought damnation and eternal torment so I'm understandably a little nervous about thinking other things than what I've been fed my whole life but it's also liberating to be able to believe spiritually that don't conflict with my moral, political, and social beliefs. Whew!

beautiful

I'm beginning to understand that I should question things, not just accept things blindly. That's how evil is allowed to flourish. 

Going Far, Getting Nowhere

Ahh... it's been a good day. I woke up late, having gone to bed late, and ate an excellent egg, spinach, ham sandwich with my lovely wife while we watched the latest season of The Big Bang Theory, my current favorite TV show. Seriously guys, it's awesome.
Then I went on a hike up Rock Canyon which allowed me to think about stuff, get things clear again. It's amazing how quickly my view can become cluttered by garbage but going on a walk or hike or ride always clears it up toot sweet. Jealousy is one of my biggest problems right now. It really throws off my thinking and centers me on the wrong things. Gah!
Anyways! Then I came home and we ate rice and ham and each had a big salad which was DELICIOSO!!! Mucho so. Then more TBBT (yeah, that's right. I abbreviated my addiction) and then to writing at which I wrote over 1500 words. YES! Also I've been listening to 80's music lately, specifically The Cure, Depeche Mode, Tears for Fears. Also threw some Death Cab for Cutie, Fleetwood Mac, and The Flaming Lips in there just to get a little variety. I think I'm set for a while with this playlist. At least when I'm not exercising.
When I'm exercising, I like to jam to Pop Goes Punk 3 & 4. Great stuff, all upbeat and screamy the way I like my pop.
Oh yeah! Another thing: I've been trying to get a job as a writer for a magazine or website. I don't have any professional experience but decided to apply anyways. I've only heard back from one website and it was a rejection but at least I heard back! A rejection is always better than nothing. Anyways, pray, meditate, or throw good thoughts my way, depending on what you believe. Thanks!

What Heist Were You Watching?

The internet on my phone has not been working for almost a month and I'm going CRAZY! About a year ago I started switching my music listening from CD's and MP3's to streaming. It's a lot cheaper and easier but NOT WHEN YOUR INTERNET DOESN'T WORK!!! Bloody Sprint.

I just wrote almost a thousand words in my book! But that's not that great because I haven't written in weeks. But thank heavens I'm starting again. It's always that first session that's the hardest.

ALSO I'm starting a NEW job on monday. I know I know. Another? Really? Well better believe it baby.